We had an awesome day yesterday, truly. The weather behaved all day, it didn’t even start to sprinkle until the sun was going down & people were leaving anyway. Our Sabbat celebration went very smoothly, and people seemed to really enjoy it. When we were all finished with that, we went in & finished all of our dinner preparations & everyone ate. The food was all fantastic, we have so many great cooks in our circle that you honestly don’t have room in your belly to go back for second helpings, even if you only take a small amount of each dish the first time around.

We broke out the latest home brewed beer & the people who drank it seemed to like it, I know I did. We all visited for awhile and then we had a circle naming (members who wanted them were given their craft name) & then everyone who had to be somewhere else headed out & Troy, Dawn, Justin, Rhi, her boyfriend Chris (we’ve known him for years) and I sat around awhile, then Rhi & Chris left. I think Dawn & Justin left at around 10 & then Troy & I watched about 3 episodes of “Weeds” and went to bed. All in all, just a fantastic day, really.

I am really having a hard time wrapping my head around it being May, though, especially since we woke up to snow again. I know that before too many more days the graduation invitations will start coming in the mail & then maybe I’ll realize it really is May & almost summer, and hopefully by then, the weather will realize it too. I already have so many tasks to finish before faire that I feel like I’m running behind, and honestly, I’m sure I am. I really have to get those walls cut & sewn before very much longer & we, as a guild, need to get our encampment done, too. Ack. Too much to do, too little time & money.

We’re getting ready to go to a birthday party for a friend’s daughter. I just cannot believe that she’s five already, it seems like yesterday she was just a tiny, fussy baby & now she’s on the road to kindergarten. It was enough of a shock in January when her big brother turned 8, honestly, I just don’t remember giving any of them permission to get so dang big. Sheesh. That’s how we get old, first our kids grow up, then all of our younger friends’ kids do, too & then all of a sudden, we’re old. It’s not fair, I tell ya!

Anyway, the weather looks like it’s finally warm again, after several days of cold, gloomy rain & snow mixed. Hopefully this will be the end of the snow for the year, but I’m really not holding my breath, I’ve lived here for too long to honestly believe that. I can hope, though. I’m a little disappointed that it’s supposed to be cold & rainy next Saturday, which is Beltane & I have a bunch of people coming over for ritual & to eat & such, but we’ll make do, we always do.

We had a great time on Ostara. The food was fantastic, the company was excellent & the weather even cooperated. We just really need to get better at the ritual aspect of it all, and I imagine we will with time. Right now I think we start trying to figure things out way too late, and so we’re rushed & reach the point where we feel like anything will do. We did decide on a name for our circle after 8 months, we chose Phoenix Circle, as we truly are rising out of the ashes of our former tribe/troth & trying to find our way in this world now.

The children all had a ball out in the playhouse & sandbox. They all played pretty much from the time they got here on. Everyone loved being out in the yard so much that none of us wanted to come in when it got dark, even though it was getting quite chilly. It’s so nice to know we have a space for entertaining that everyone loves & looks forward to coming back to, I can’t wait for the warmer months!

A blessed Ostara to all of my Pagan friends in the Northern hemisphere (and blessed Mabon to those in the Southern). It’s going to be an incredibly busy day around here. We’re getting ready to go pick up our co-op share in a few minutes, then I have to come home, clean out the fridge & get all of my produce packaged to last the longest & probably start some fruit on the dehydrator.

When I get all of that done, I need to go out in the yard & prepare it for our ritual, which includes getting a couple of flower beds cleared out & my outside altar area cleaned out & ready to be consecrated, and the back yard cleaned up so the kids can hunt eggs & play.

Then, I plan to start the filling for my enchiladas & maybe et everything ready to go into the oven, just to save time later, then shower, get dressed & wait for people to get here. I just hope I can get it all done in time. I’ll have Troy’s help, so it should go pretty quickly. Let’s just hope that it gets warm enough for the little ones today!

I did manage to get the office curtains done yesterday, although one of the panels for my bigger window is shorter than the others & is driving me nuts, so I may have to take it down & fix it sometime today. They turned out very pretty & made the room feel cozy & homelike, so, all in all, I’m very pleased with them. Today I’m going to try to find the fabric I bought for my kitchen valance & the stuff I sat aside for the bedroom & get those sewn. I have bedding and such to finish putting away in the bedroom, so I’m almost sure I’ll find it while I’m doing that.

We’re supposed to have thunderstorms all day today, followed by a bit of snow in the early morning hours, but I’m seriously hoping it all just passes us by. The storm isn’t here yet & the wind hasn’t started blowing it in so far, so hopefully it’ll go around us. I’d love for it to be nice & warm on Saturday, as we’re having Ostara at my house, Cerridwyn’s 2nd birthday & our housewarming all rolled into one & we want the little ones to be able to play in the play house & have an egg hunt. I’m making beef enchiladas, Dawn’s making cheese enchiladas & we hope to have a terrific time.

I’m going to try to have the house mostly put together by then, so it looks nice for our guests, plus we’re trying to get a few projects done in the yard by then, too. I have so many future plans for both, it’s unbelievable. We’re so excited to get our yard finished & beautiful and start having everyone over on the weekends. I can’t wait for the snow to be all melted & if it does rain, that will take a lot of it off. It’s mostly only in the shady areas of my yard now anyway. We want it to melt so we can see what’s under it & what we have to work with as far as wood goes. We want to make a nice fire pit out there, put a brick floor in the gazebo & fix up the sand box, so we’re going to have a busy spring!

1. Was 2009 a good year for you? It was a much better year than 2008.

2. What was your favorite moment(s) of the year? The inauguration was a pretty awesome moment, being woken up because Beth insisted on calling “Grandma Dy” was a great one, too. Calling Garrett & finding out he & Keri were getting married.

3. What was your least favorite moment(s) of the year? Erin leaving. Not being there to see Garrett & Keri get married.

4. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before? Truly, honestly believed in & loved myself.

5. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don’t make resolutions.

6. Where were you when 2009 began? I’m sure I was at home with Troy.

7. Who were you with? Probably just Troy.

8. Where will you be when 2009 ends? At home with Troy, I’m sure.

9. Who will you be with when 2009 ends? The same, Troy.

10. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not this year.

11. Did you lose anybody close to you in 2009? No.

12. Who did you miss? Erin. Mark & Sarah. Garrett.

13. Who was the best new person you met in 2009? I don’t think I really met people that made that much of a positive difference in my life this year.

14. What was your favorite month of 2009? July. It’s always July.

15. Did you travel outside of the US in 2009? Only in my mind.

16. How many different states did you travel to in 2009? Arizona, Nevada & California.

17. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009? A Wii.

18. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? January 20. History was made that day.

19. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I lost 70 pounds & 4 dress sizes.

20. What was your biggest failure? Nothing right off-hand, it was a pretty positive year for me.

21. Did you suffer illness or injury? I had mono at the beginning of the year, until April or early May. I fell down pretty hard during tear-down for faire, and while I was very deeply bruised I was up & on my feet the next day.

22. What was the best thing you bought? My Weight Watchers online membership.

23. Whose behavior merited celebration? Troy’s. He has been so wonderful & supportive throughout my journey to better health & has lost an insane amount of weight himself.

24. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? A few members of my former Pagan collective.

25. Where did most of your money go? Rents, car payments, bills.

26. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Faire, Erin coming home, Christmas.

27. Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2009? Not a lot, probably less than most years.

28. Did you do a lot of drugs in 2009? Just a lot of vitamins & supplements & OTC stuff.

29. Did you treat somebody badly in 2009? Yes, they deserved it.

30. Did somebody treat you badly in 2009? Oh, yes.

32. What do you wish you’d done more of in 2009? More girls’ nights with Dawn & Vicki.

33. What do you wish you’d done less of? Worrying about the kids.

35. What was your favorite TV program(s)? Cold Case, Criminal Minds, The Biggest Loser, Intervention, Dexter, Californication & Eastwick.

36. What song will always remind you of 2009? 1, 2, 3, 4 by The Plain White T’s.

37. How many concerts did you see in 2009? Sadly, none.

38. Did you have a favorite concert in 2009? I didn’t go to any.

39. What was your greatest musical discovery? Blackmore’s Night.

40. What was the best book you read? I read so many good books this year.

41. What was your favorite film of this year? Troy & I went to a lot of movies this year, hmmm… The Blind Side!

42. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I was 43 & I have no idea.

43. What did you want and get? A new TV, a netbook & a Zune.

44. What did you want and not get? a Wii, but we may get that tonight. If we do, then kids who live productive lives?

45. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Knowing that my kids could & did take are of themselves without using illegal drugs or living under a bridge drinking wine out of a box.

46. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009? Smaller every month.

47. What kept you sane? Troy, Dawn & Jason.

48. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Taylor Lautner, even though that makes me a dirty old woman.

49. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009. I AM worth it.

50. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

“Gimme more lovin’ from the very start, piece me back together when I fall apart, tell me things you never even tell your closest friends.

Make me feel good when I hurt so bad, best that I’ve had, I’m so glad I found you, I love bein’ around you, you make it easy, it’s as easy as 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4″

We had a pretty good time at my parents’ house on Christmas, even though my sister-in-law was in a bad mood (it was my dad’s fault) and didn’t really participate. She didn’t even eat with the rest of us, she hid in the kitchen by herself. She did finally come in when it was time to open presents and all of that & I think she started realizing that it wasn’t everyone else’s fault that dad has an odd sense of humor.

My family draws names for gift-giving & my dad got my name this year. He bought me a Bailey’s gift set, with a bottle of Bailey’s & some really pretty glasses. I was so happy to get that, and am saving it for my birthday next month. Troy got a nice pocket knife from my brother, and while he really didn’t need one because he has a Leatherman, he really appreciated it.

We spent the afternoon playing Wii Sports with the family & had a lot of fun. I really want one now, especially after we spent hours at Dawn & Jason’s last night playing. Dawn & I were loud & funny, but I blame part of that on good beer & Wild Vines wine, it was a great night, but it’s time to get back on track with my eating plan & going to the gym, I’ve slacked off for far too long this past week or so.

I’m really hoping all of this healthcare reform talk actually turns into action so that my friends can get low cost health insurance and be able to handle all of their health issues. Dawn needs so much done at this point & isn’t able to because she’ll be losing her Medicaid next week. She has carpal tunnel syndrome so badly that she has to take a break between each dish she washes to get the feeling back in her hands. She drives with one hand now so that she can switch between them as she loses feeling in one. It’s just terrible for her and she has no idea what she’s going to do now.

Another year has turned on the Great Wheel, and a lot of things have changed for me & mine in it’s turning. We (Troy & I) have learned to let go of our kids and just let them be. We realize we have no control over what they do, and shouldn’t stress out over it, whatever will happen, will & we can’t stop it. We have taken better control of our own lives in the process, watching what we eat, being more active, paying attention to what our bodies are telling us instead of blowing off signals.

We have reined in our finances & have a semblance of control over them, or at any rate, we have a plan, no matter what the coming months bring us, we are prepared, which is more than we could have said in the past, and probably more than many people we know could. I have noticed that the older I get, the more I start thinking that maybe I need to get some sort of life insurance (if you know me in real life, that will shock you, as you know how down I’ve been on it in the past), but haven’t gone so far as to start checking out term life insurance rates yet, but I’m sure that will be coming. I just don’t want my passing to be a burden on anyone, you know?

Tonight we are getting together with friends & eating, doing ritual and just hanging out enjoying each other’s company as we mark the end of another year. I’m making some cute cupcakes & bringing a couple of rotisserie chickens and French bread (along with the last of the homebrew & mead). It should be a fun night.

How has the weather been in your part of the world lately? We have a lot of dark, angry looking clouds everyday now, but nothing seems to come from them. It’s been very cold and damp in the mornings (when I have to go out and walk!) and then gets warm and fairly nice as the day progresses. I’ve even had to open my kitchen window the past couple of days, but I know that soon I’ll be buying plastic and sealing them all up for the cold months and looking up hotels in Destin Florida and dreaming that we can escape and just be warm for awhile. Thankfully, winter has been easier on me since I don’t have to get out in it every morning at 7am to run kids to school, but I’m still not a fan of the cold.

I’m really looking forward to the holidays this year & I have no idea why. Troy works Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve & Christmas and that was really bumming me out, but I think I’ve accepted it and am now very excited and can hardly wait for them. I really hope that Erin will be coming home, although I have no guarantees about that (or any other aspect of his life). I don’t know, I think I’m just at peace in my life right now & I look forward to whatever it has to offer me.

I’m ready to not be sick already. Today I’m running a fever & have an upset stomach. I hate being sick & after having spent the entire winter feeling horrible, I just really wasn’t looking forward to ever being sick again. I’m sure you’re all tired of hearing me gripe about my health by now, though.

So, I’ll switch to something else. I’m having a terrible time finding a simple, but beautiful ritual to do on Mabon. Everything I have found is long, drawn out & fairly complicated. We just aren’t complicated people & neither is the way we worship & celebrate Sabbats. Why do people have to make everything so complicated? Paganism isn’t supposed to mimic organized religion & it isn’t the way it started out, we are an Earth based religion, to me that just screams “simple,” or am I missing something?