As a group, we’ve all been playing a lot of Guild Wars lately, usually at the same time, even if we aren’t all doing the same thing. Dawn has even started a new character and is slowly learning the mechanics of the game, in spite of her issues with camera angle and such. I know that a lot of her problem is lag, and old computer & not quite enough ram, but there isn’t much I can do about any of those things. She isn’t likely to buy a new computer or upgrade her memory with her tax relief check, and I already have plans for mine, so I can’t. I guess she’ll eventually get used to it or stop playing again, though I hope she keeps playing, she feels so left out when we all talk about it.

Caffeinate me!

I’ve always kept a journal, from the time I was a little girl & got my very first, fake leather-bound book with the lock & tiny key. I haven’t always been diligent about writing in one, nor have they always held the most important facts, but they were, in their own time, each very important to me. When I was growing up, my mother kept a diary, fairly religiously, too. She had a record of our growing up years in there, with all of it’s trials, tribulations, joys and triumphs. I loved reading it in later years, and learning what it was like when I was too young to remember or understand. I always wanted to keep a record of my children’s lives and what we all went through when they were growing up. I tried and tried, but I was never really able to keep up with it, not when I had to find the time to actually write it down & then find a place to keep a diary where it would be safe & not get lost or ruined.

When Troy & I got married in 1991, he had a computer, and on that computer was a program to keep a journal on it. My problem was solved & I was pretty diligent about keeping a record on it. The next logical progression to me, was blogging. I not only found a way to publish my “diary” every day, but there were ways to make it pretty and I could “meet” other people and read their’s too. When I first started blogging, it wasn’t really called that yet. I started with a website called “open diary” or something, and then just kept one on my own web page. This was 10 years, several web sites & a few computers ago, but I have never lost the good feelings that blogging gives me.

Blogging makes me happy, I feel like I’m keeping a very valuable record of the life of my family. Who else could I have told that my son, who had been full of promise & ambition when he finished high school, dropped out of society & started doing drugs a year later? I was able to share my joy & amazement, when my tomboy blossomed into a beautiful young woman, with both beauty & brains. I have shared her triumphs and tragedies with all of you. I talk about the fun we have at the renaissance faire and I also gripe about the hard work, too. None of you would have ever known me with out my blog & I wouldn’t know who any of you are either.

When I first started this happy adventure, Rhi was 10 years old (she actually hadn’t turned 10 yet) and Erin was 12, we were still homeschooling & Troy & I had a somewhat troubled relationship, but were struggling through it. Now? Erin is almost 20 & a high school graduate. Rhi will be 18 in a few days & will graduate a few days after that. Wow. What a long, strange trip it’s been. I’m looking forward to the next 10 years & the changes it will bring! Here’s a video I made about how happy blogging makes me:

Caffeinate me!

Wow. Time has really gone quickly this school year. I can’t believe that a month from today, Rhi will be graduating from high school. In 15 days, she’ll be 18. Where did all of the years go? Did I do okay in the raising of my children? Will she be alright on her own? It seems like just a few months ago that she was turning into a young woman & looking for a good acne treatment, now she’s trying to find a job that she can turn into a career, looking for an apartment & deciding what to do about her car. I’m so thankful that she’s such a responsible and realistic person, she knows that when she moves out, she’ll have to pay her rent and bills, buy gas and groceries and then, if she has any money left, she can play a little.

Erin had no clue. He acted as if the things he was going to need were going to fall, mysteriously, from the sky at the right moment. When that didn’t happen, he gave up. Rhi’s not likely to let life beat her, she’s too determined and stubborn for that, thankfully. She’ll go after everything she wants out of it & get it, too. We’re looking toward the future with excitement, Troy & I have never had any time as a couple when we weren’t raising children, so this will be a big change for us, but one that we look forward to.

Caffeinate me!

There has been a lot in the news lately about professional athletes using steroids and other performance enhancing drugs. I’m appalled, but not totally surprised, it is, after all, a highly competitive field to try to excel in & they sometimes feel that they have to take very chance to be a better or stronger athlete that they have offered to them. The problem is, that if & when they get caught, it not only ruins their reputation & puts their entire record under the microscope, it often costs them their fan base & career. What really gets me is when they have been inducted into their respective hall of fame & the powers that be allow their record to stand. How can it, when it was achieved through illegal means? How can anyone respect and hold them in any sort of regard after that? I don’t want my children and future grandchildren to emulate them in any way, so to me, they don’t deserve the honor anymore.

There are so many legal methods of enhancing your performance, from prohormones to protein boosting while you lift weights and work out, that it isn’t necessary to stoop to the illegal and very dangerous methods out there. You can excel at your chosen sport by being the best there is, you don’t have to be the most drugged on ‘roids. I just don’t understand anyone would want to risk their health like that.

Caffeinate me!

Man, today was a tiring day. Maybe it was just the past two days being super busy and at the same time, full of stress and such, too. We went this morning & cleaned out one of the storage trailers we use for our renaissance faire. It has a bunch of benches, the thrones, signs, and other items we use for ambiance in it. We got rid of quite a few things that were in there & now, everything that’s there comes off & gets used, instead of being moved off and then back on when we get everything else out that we use.

We finished that up at around noon, then we had to grab one of Troy’s old cell phones & take it up to our cell provider, so we could have it changed to Rhi’s number, because she broke hers yesterday, and then we went to Dawn’s, sat awhile and then Melissa realized that the basement was flooding again, so Troy, Blake & Ryan started checking that out & trying to figure out what was wrong with that. I ran & got Rhi, dropped her off at home & went back to Dawn’s. We sat around watching TV while Blake & Troy played Guild Wars and then Rhi needed the car, so we came home & let her take it -and let me tell you, I’m thankful for our online car insurance company, because insuring her on our vehicles is a lot cheaper now.

I still haven’t had a chance to pay our bills for the month, because I was gone all day today. I’m too tired now, so that’s how I’ll spend my morning tomorrow, I imagine. I also got sunburned and that’s making me very tired, too.

Caffeinate me!

Recently, one of our friends moved back to town from North Carolina (he’s from there, he just keeps moving back & forth). He has a new wife, who’s really funny and cool, and he’s been trying to get his kids back in order & under at least a semblance of discipline, since their mother seems to want to be a friend to them, rather than a parent. He has 5 sons, ranging from about 5 or 6 to 15 & they’re a handful even under the best of circumstances. Now, imagine them all smart-mouthed & argumentative. Yeah. Not a pretty sight. When he was around them all the time, they were respectful, polite kids, yes, they were still boisterous and fun-loving, but nothing like they are now.

Anyway.. he & his wife have been talking about their time in North Carolina and their visits to the Outer Banks and the ocean, and it makes me want to runaway to the beach, drink fruity, slushy drinks and just veg out for about a week. I think I’m definitely ready for a break and some time away, doing the things I love to do, and just some time to relax & recharge my psyche after 21 years of raising kids.

Caffeinate me!

Have you ever noticed that a lot of arguments and issues between people are differences in perception more than in opinion? If people can’t see things the same way, it’s really hard to reach a resolution between them. It’s like that one shade of blue that in some peoples eyes is purple & no matter how much they argue about it, it’ll still be blue or purple to either party. I guess the only thing you can say at that point is, “Well, it looks blue to me, either way, it’s pretty color.”

One of my problems of perception doesn’t even cause issues with other people. I spent my life putting my daytime makeup on without the bathroom lights on, because I had windows & good, natural daylight in there, so that my makeup looked good & natural outside, as well as inside. Well, now my bathroom lighting sucks, and I have a tiny window above the shower that let’s no light in at all. So, there are days that I’ll put my make up on & then go out to do something, look in my mirror in the car & be really embarrassed, because I feel like one of those old women with what looks like clown make up on. It’s not that obvious, but it’s a lot “more” than I’m used to, you know?

Caffeinate me!

I’m really feeling terrible today, I’m not sure if I have a cold, tonsillitis or it’s just a really bad pollen day. I hate when I can’t narrow my symptoms down, but I know that my allergy meds aren’t doing anything for it, but they may not be working yet, either. I guess I’ll wait & see & take something for a cold if they don’t start helping soon. Maybe I’m just emotionally wrung out and my immune systems is compromised due to the stress. Hopefully, whatever it is, I’ll start feeling better pretty soon.

I’ve been so busy around here lately putting out little fires before they become conflagrations that I don’t seem to have much time for me. It’s like money, I spend so much on everyone else and on stocking my faire booth, that don’t seem to get anything for myself. I really wanted a lap top when we get our tax relief check, but I’m probably buying air fare to Iowa with that. I would love a pair of pretty, red Naot sandals, but all of my own income has been stocking the booth these days.

I’m boycotting new clothes because I’m losing weight & refuse to waste money on things I won’t be wearing very long. Besides that, I have a bunch of different sizes for the way down, things I kept because they were either brand new & didn’t fit or I didn’t get to wear them very long before they were too small. Maybe I’ll get myself a new pair of flip flops this week or something, just so I feel like I’m treating myself, just a little bit.

Caffeinate me!

When I was 10, my family moved from the city, out to a house in the country. I loved the peace and solitude out there, and our huge yard. I used to sit at the back of our property & crack open black walnuts to eat, while I daydreamed & played. We had a trailer house on our property that we rented out to a college girl. She had a horse, that she kept on out property, too. I used to love going out there & helping her feed the horse & take care of it. The smell of sweet grain reminds me of her to this day.

Our neighbor had two horses, named Black Magic & Big Red. I used to go over there every day & help him with his horses too. I’d help change the fly traps, and reload them with sweet grain (to attract the flies into them). I’d give each horse a flake of hay to eat or sweet grain, depending on the day. My favorite part of their corral area was the tack room. It was all made with pine wood, and full of beautiful, handmade saddles, tack and tools to care for the horses. (like curry combs, hoof picks and such) When I smell leather and rosin, I think of Sonny and miss those years of my life. His mother,Elizabeth was also very good to me, and she made the best zucchini bread in the world. Those were very good times for me & I often think back on them.

Caffeinate me!

Yesterday, I was sitting here, browsing eBay, and Troy lost his internet connection in the living room. I reset the router for him and everything was ok. Later on, I went out into the living room and worked on a sign I was making, Troy was playing a game and we kept hearing Rhi yelling at her computer. That’s such a normal thing for her to do, that we asked and she said her computer wasn’t working right. I didn’t think anything of it. Then I came back here & wanted to see if we had been paid & total our bills for the week and such & had no net connection. I reset the modem. I reset the router. I rebooted my computer. Nothing.

I went out & told Troy. He came back here and reset the modem, and the router & rebooted my computer. He checked all of my connections. He checked where the CAT5e cable goes into my modem & then went outside & checked where it comes into house back here. He called ourcable company, they talked him through everything he had just done. After he hung up the phone, it mysteriously came back.

All was right with the world.

Caffeinate me!