I grew up in the 60s & 70s & went to high school in the early 80s (1980-1984). It seemed like, as we hit high school & the extreme consumerism of that decade that everyone I knew had huge plans for their lives after high school. I knew girls who were  going to be lawyers, doctors, go into futures trading, one was even going to be the hair stylist of the stars. I remember feeling like a complete loser, because, while I had plans, they weren’t anything like those. I just wanted to go to art school & figure it out after I got there.

Well, I know my plans didn’t work out for me. I became other hapless victim of the other excesses of the 80s, and decided that getting drunk & partying with my friends was way more important to me than getting an education & planning for my future. I wonder how many of my former friends & acquaintances followed through & did exactly what they planned to. I know of at least one that didn’t, although she has a pretty cool job, it’s nothing like what she had planned for herself. I guess I ought to gol to the next reunion instead of skipping out on it, huh?

1)Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you have eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.

1. Venison - Everyone I know has had this.
2. Nettle tea – I’m going to say yes because I’m pretty sure.
3. Huevos rancheros – Pretty much my whole life.
4. Steak tartare – Blech.
5. Crocodile – No, not into big water lizards.
6. Black pudding – Gross.
7. Cheese fondue – Mom used to have a fondue pot when I was growing up, so good!
8. Carp – No, we don’t eat trash fish.
9. Borscht – No, but I’d like to.
10. Baba ghanoush – I don’t really like eggplant that much.
11. Calamari – It was delicious!
12. Pho – No, but I would if given the chance.
13. PB&J sandwich – Yes, unfortunately. I love peanut butter, but not with that nasty sweet crap on it.
14. Aloo gobi – No, but it sounds wonderful!
15. Hot dog from a street cart, meat on a stick too – Yes.
16. Epoisses – No, but I probably would.
17. Black truffle – No, but again, I would if given the chance..
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes – Yes, Raspberry & Choke Cherry, and Apple
19. Steamed pork buns – I’ve had steamed buns, but not pork.
20. Pistachio ice cream – Yes, one of my favorites!
21. Heirloom tomatoes – Yes.
22. Fresh wild berries – My aunts live in the mountains of Northern California and these grew wild there.
23. Foie gras – It was okay.
24. Rice and beans – Love it as long as it’s red beans & rice.
25. Brawn, or head cheese – *gag*
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper – No, but I’ve had them cooked in food.
27. Dulce de leche – Yes. Yummy.
28. Oysters – I’m not a fan, but I’ve had them.
29. Baklava – OMG, so good.
30. Bagna cauda – No, but it sounds delicious
31. Wasabi peas – Not yet.
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl – Yummy!
33. Salted lassi – doesn’t sound good to me.
34. Sauerkraut – My parents made it one winter, so good!
35. Root beer float – for as long as I can remember.
36. Cognac with a fat cigar – No thank you.
37. Clotted cream tea – No, but I might if offered.
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O – Yep.
39. Gumbo – Yes, delicious!
40. Oxtail - No. Just no.
41. Curried goat – No, but I would. I’ve had curry & I’ve had goat.
42. Whole insects – Yeah, what can I say?
43. Phaal – I haven’t, but I would. I love curry.
44. Goat’s milk – Both as milk & as cheese.
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more – Just once. It was wonderful.
46. Fugu – Nope. Too much risk for me to enjoy it.
47. Chicken tikka masala – I made it once.
48. Eel – Ewww.
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut - Yeah, I didn’t see the big deal.
50. Sea urchin – No thanks.
51. Prickly pear – Yes, they’re quite good.
52. Umeboshi – No, but I’d love to.
53. Abalone – No, but I’d taste it.
54. Paneer – No, but I might.
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal – Yep.
56. Spaetzle – Yep.
57. Dirty gin martini – no, but I would.
58. Beer above 8% ABV – Yes!
59. Poutine – No, but it sounds good.
60. Carob chips – Yes, as a kid.
61. S’mores -Many, many times
62. Sweetbreads - No, never gonna happen, either.
63. Kaolin – I’m not really into eating clay.
64. Currywurst – No.
65. Durian – Not sure I could get past the smell.
66. Frogs’ legs – No desire whatsoever.
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake – Very tasty.
68. Haggis – Doesn’t really sound appealing to me.
69. Fried plantain – Not yet.
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette – No. Never gonna.
71. Gazpacho – Yes, mom made it every summer.
72. Caviar and blini – I’ve had caviar but not blini
73. Louche absinthe – I’ve had absinthe, it tastes a lot like Jagermeister, honestly.
74. Gjetost, or brunost – No?
75. Roadkill – I think I’d rather have Gjetost.
76. Baijiu – no.
77. Hostess Fruit Pie – Yes, we used to freeze them & eat them.
78. Snail – Yes,they have a funny texture.
79. Lapsang souchong – No, but I would
80. Bellini – No, it sounds delightful.
81. Tom yum – I haven’t, but would like to try tom yum gai, it sounds very good.
82. Eggs Benedict – Yes, it’s very good.
83. Pocky – Many, many times!
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant – Nope.
85. Kobe beef – Nope.
86. Hare – Yeah, it doesn’t taste like chicken.
87. Goulash – Yep.
88. Flowers – Yes, candied violets & hibiscus tea, jasmine tea.
89. Horse – at a Mexican restaurant in Colorado, before they got caught.
90. Criollo chocolate – No, I’d love to, though.
91. Spam – Yes, many times.
92. Soft shell crab – No, but I would.
93. Rose harissa – No, but it sounds intriguing.
94. Catfish – Yes, too many times. I’m not a fan.
95. Mole poblano – Not yet.
96. Bagel and lox – Yummy!.
97. Lobster Thermidor – Not yet.
98. Polenta – Yes, quite good.
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee – I’d like to.
100. Snake – not in a million years.

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In the past year, the trailer park I live in has gone through some major changes. It was sold to a new landlord & a lot of the rules changed when it did. One thing that I don’t like is that my sprinklers aren’t on a timer anymore, so my lawn is really struggling now. It does seem a lot more like a neighborhood than it used to, though. There are a lot more dogs here, when before it was just Tiny & two others, and there’s been a lot of fence installation going on as a result. More people’s children are playing in their yards & the ones who use the streets seem to be more polite about moving.

People are planting flowers & growing vegetables in containers, there is painting happening & neighbors hanging out together. All in all, I really like all of the changes, I think it made this a more lively place to live.

I really need to keep in touch with my parents a bit better.  I didn’t even realize that my dad is probably having his second implant radiation treatment today until I looked at my calendar. There has been so much drama in our troth these days (a troth is kind of like an Asatru [Norse pagan] coven) that I haven’t really been able to focus on anything else. I’ve decided that I’m just going to step back & see what happens before I make any permanent decisions on staying or leaving the troth. I really hate that the people who have caused the most problems lately are people that we brought out & introduced to the troth. Sometimes I wish they made a pill you could take for jerk-loss, like Leptovox is for weight loss. Since there is no such animal, I started avoiding those people, too, because I don’t want to be involved in the chaos they’re constantly leaving in their wake.

Anyway. I guess I ought to go & get dressed & go to the store. I need some bleach & more de-greaser so I can finish my kitchen sometime in this decade.

I’m so tired of being treated like I’m a complete idiot. It seems to be a common practice by my offspring to assume that because I have rarely worked outside our home (in their lifetimes) to believe that I know nothing about getting and keeping a job. I may not know a power steering rack from a CV joint, but I know that you have to actually go to your job in order to keep it. I know that you have to adjust your whole life to compensate for a job that you work graveyards for, too. I know that you can’t have an active & fulfilling social life that starts at 5:00pm if you have to be to work at 7, so it’s probably better to tell your friends to not come around on the nights you work, to make it easier for you to want to go to your job.

I have a husband who works graveyards two weeks a month & has for 13 years, I’ve watched him go to work when he’s tired, or doesn’t feel good & at times when there are family crises going on that he’d rather not have to leave in the middle of. He’s never been fired from a job & he’s only ever quit a job once when he didn’t have one to replace it first (that was when we moved here & he had a job in 2 days). So, no, I’ve never had a full-time job, other than being a wife & a mother, but I don’t think that makes me stupid. Anytime I open my mouth with any sort of advice about jobs, my kids seem to get a vacant look on their faces, which automatically clues me in that they aren’t paying attention to the words, just waiting for breaks so they can act like they are.

That’s okay, this stupid person isn’t offering advice anymore, even when I’m asked. I’m just going to let them flourish or flounder on their own from now on.

As much as I’m enjoying the warm weather & longer evenings, I won’t be sad to see the Summer leave. It’s already starting to cool down where I live, as a matter of fact, it was downright cold last night. I love Autumn more than almost any other season, my next favorite is Spring. I guess I’m just one of those people who love the seasons when they’re changing & weather is unpredictable. One thing, besides the carefree feeling I get in the Summer, that I’ll miss will be the fact that I’m out in the sun so much that my acne is almost nonexistent right now & I really love the way my skin is looking.

I really like the sights and smells of Autumn most of all, the crisp smell of the air, mixed with the fallen leaves & the hint of winter in the air. It just makes me want to snuggle & read all day long with my man. In the Summer, it just gets too hot to even want to be close to each other, you know?

For those of you who have adult children, or those who are very close to being adults, have you noticed that the questions they used to ask, like – Why is the sky blue? How do engines work? and Why can’t I stay up all night? – haven’t really ended, they’ve just grown, over time. When they’re early teens they want to know why they can’t dye their hair green or wear mini skirts or get a tattoo. As they get older, they want to know why they have a curfew, or a bedtime and why their girlfriend/boyfriend can’t spend the night or why you don’t mind your own business. There can be thousands of combinations that threaten to drive us, as parents, absolutely insane.

I always thought, for some reason, that when they were grown, the questions would end. Now, I know they won’t, but that the answers are a lot more important now. When my youngest son comes to me & asks if I feel like I’m not seeing the boy I raised, I owe it to him to be honest & tell him that no matter how he’s choosing to live his life that I’m proud of him. When my daughter says,”Mom, I think I’m overweight, does Fenterdren work?” I need to tell her that she’s perfect the way she is & that I don’t know anyone who’s taken it, but that she can always ask a doctor if she’s concerned.  When the oldest wants to know if I think his dream to make films is a waste, I needto tell him that chasing a dream is never a waste & that he has to live his life in the way he wants to, no matter what anyone else says.

They still crave our approval, even if we love them unconditionally, and they want to make us proud. They do. Every day. They are such amazing people, each in their own way & at times I wonder how they turned out so well with me as their mother.

I started out last week with best of intentions to get my house in order, but that’s about as far as it went. I got caught up in the Olympics and other things and just really never did anything. So, now that Troy is back on nights & I’ll pretty much be here all alone (Erin comes over at night, but he’ll be on the computer), maybe I’ll stop dreaming about Brazil vacation packages and finding other ways to waste my time & get busy with it. I’d really love to get the kitchen done so I can start on my bedroom, which I can’t even stand anymore.

The living room is bad & I think we need to rent a steam cleaner for the carpet in here & throw a bunch of stuff out. I’d also love to relocate the furniture in here to make it a bit more user-friendly. I hate the way it’s laid out in here right now & really want it to look better. I’m also going to look into some slipcovers that will hide the dog & cat hair a little bit better, or something.

Yes, it’s been a hella long time since I posted anything in here. Since then, some things have changed in my life, because, as you know, life comes at you fast. My grandmother has been steadily declining for the past 6 months, and took a massive turn for the worst on August 6. I was told that I needed to get out there to tell her goodbye if I wanted a chance to. The next morning she was gone. I also found out that day that my dad’s PSA was elevated (he has prostate cancer) & that he was now considered borderline for the treatement his oncologist had wanted to try.

He went down for his first implant radiation treatment on Friday and I worried about him for most of the day. We spent quite a long time that day getting ready to go camping this past weekend, but in between the busy work, all I could think of was my dad.I talked to him on Saturday, as we were picking up a tent trailer we borrowed & he was in such great spirits. He told me they had re-evaluated his PSA results & it was much lower than they originally thought, and that the implant radiation should be all he needs.  I’m so thankful for that, I was so worried & was actually able to relax over the weekend & enjoy our little camping trip.

Since we got back, I’ve just been kind of relaxing, watching the Olympics and taking it easy. School starts here tomorrow, it feels strange to know that it doesn’t matter to us anymore, but at the same time, it’s a huge relief, too. It’s good to be done, good to be able to discover what life is like for us without kids in the house. Even better to know that I can sleep as late as I want tomorrow and no one will be late getting anywhere.

I’m going to slowly start trying to get my house back into shape, taking one room at a time. We’ll see how that goes, all I know is that I can’t live in it like is anymore.