Sorry for the lack of posts lately, we’ve officially entered the busiest time of the year for us – pre-faire. If I’m not packaging things or trying to make signs, I’m looking online & trying to decide what to order & what I think will sell. Aside from all of that, is the normal business that makes the faire run every year and the meetings, the stress & the worry. We’re also trying very hard to have an actual summer this year & have plans to go camping a couple of times in June & at least once in July, probably right before faire or a couple of weeks after.

Something that takes a big chunk of my own, personal time is that Dawn & I have been walking every day for almost 2 weeks & have no intention of stopping. We started out barely managing 30 minutes & today, we were gone for almost 2 hours. All but 20 minutes of that was walking. I started Weight Watchers online a week ago & had my first weigh in this morning. I lost 6 pounds last week & I’m super happy & proud about it. So, finally, after almost 23 years, I’m learning to take time for myself & not feel guilty about it.

This coming payday, we have to pay our car insurance, get Troy’s Xterra registered (I think – that may be July)  and I think we really need to go & see if we can find some nice discount faucets for our kitchen sink. The one that’s in there leaks every time we do the dishes & while we aren’t paying the water bill, I hate the mess & the thought of all that water being wasted every day. I also plan to order some stuff for my booth with this check & then, if my new Paypal card gets here by then, I’ll get more dram bottles & the rest of the postcards that we need so that I can finish packaging oils & perfumes.

I need to get a hold of my friend Gary & see if he got the woof I asked him for so I can make my displays from it or not, so I can plan accordingly. If I can’t make those, then I’ll do some nice smaller signs & put them in baskets & such. Everything will still look nice & catch the eye of passersby, it’ll just be different that I envisioned.

Well, Troy & I are watching the Rockies get beaten by the Padres, so I think I’ll pay more attention to the game, in case they pull it out of the hole, like they did last night & less attention to my laptop. I need to eat lunch & move to my other computer to do some printing, too.

I’m so thankful for Troy, he’s such a good match for me. He has been there with me & for me, no matter what over the years. I know there were many times that he felt like giving up on me or giving up because of something one of the kids had done that broke his heart, but he never did.

When we got together, I was in pretty good shape. I may have been a little overweight, but I wasn’t fat & I wasn’t unhealthy, I couldn’t be, I walked everywhere I wanted to go & was busy chasing two kids under 3 around. I am not that healthy, curvy girl anymore, but he loves me just the same & supports me. He never lets me condemn myself or call myself fat. He stands by me no matter what method I decide I’m going to try for losing the extra baggage & often does it right beside me.

We just started a new exercise program today, and even though I couldn’t even finish the first set out of 3, he was right there encouraging me & telling me he was proud of me for what I did & shouldn’t feel bad for not finishing it. I’ll be starting Weight Watchers Online again on Friday, and he’s behind me 100% & will be no matter how many times I have to walk this path.

He makes me laugh, he spends time with me, we read together, camp together & really enjoy spending time with each other. Last night, I was feeling down because we found out we couldn’t afford to do something I had really wanted to do & so he took me out to the movies & we saw Star Trek. We had a fantastic time together, as always & it brought my spirits right back up & strengthened my resolve at the same time.

I wish everyone could be as lucky as I am.

We didn’t have a lot of time with either of the Pagan groups I’m involved with this week, one of them met on Monday night for a potluck, but we had a hard time finding a place to meet. The park we ended up at wasn’t the best location we could have chosen & no one seemed to be paying attention to the Mothers’ Rite that we were having, as a matter of fact, one person who was sitting there, making noise with her children, had no idea we even had one.

I appreciate that people want to have their friends around, but why invite friends who aren’t Pagan & don’t seem interested in anything but a playgroup for their kids? Yes, we get together & do a lot of family-type activities, but that isn’t all that we’re about & the spiritual is always the basis & most important aspect of what we do & why we even bother to meet.

I’m really hoping that this week we’ll be back at our regular spot & things will be back to normal. I had such a great time the first time we had our weekly potluck in the park & so did everyone else who went. No one seemed to be having a great time this past week, so I know it wasn’t just me. People who aren’t really into what we do disrupt everything so much – why can’t someone invent a pill, like a fat burner pill, that burns stupidity instead of fat?

We didn’t make it to the other group this week, we were off camping for what was supposed to be Rhi’s birthday party. She decided to leave in the middle of the day on Saturday and proceeded to get into a huge argument with her boyfriend & then us. It was disappointing & sad, because we had all spent so much money to make sure she had a great weekend & we were all looking forward to it, but it’s life & we carried on & tried to make the most of the trip in spite of her.

There are other things going on with me that have me upset, but I’m not going to go into it. Something I really wanted to happen for me isn’t going to & I can’t change it, so it’s time to redirect my desires & find another way to my goals.

Play along!

1. What bill do you hate paying the most? The rent. It feels like money that we waste every month instead of paying off our own home.

2. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner? Rusty’s Ranch House near our last anniversary.

3. How many colleges did you attend? Zero.

4. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now? It was one of 3 that I took camping & wasn’t black & hot.

5. First thought when the alarm went off this morning? There was no alarm, we were camping when I woke up this morning.

6. Last thought before going to sleep last night? I was wishing my sunburn wasn’t so bad on my right shoulder so I could fall asleep.

7. What do you miss being a child? No bills to pay, no worries & I was skinny.

8. What errand/chore do you despise? Dishes & cleaning the bathroom.

9. Have you found real love yet? Yes, 18 years ago.

10. What do you get every time you go into Wal-Mart? I never get the same thing EVERY time I go there.

11. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual? Definitely not.

12. What famous person would you like to have dinner with? Michelle Obama or Paula Deen.

13. Ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose? Probably.

14. Somewhere in California you’ve never been and would like to go? I’ve been everywhere in CA I want to go.

15. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship? A new career I guess. I’m happy with my relationships.

16. Do you have a “go to” person? I’m not even sure what that means, so I guess not.

17. Are you where you want to be in life? I’d like to be at a healthy weight, but other than than, I think so.

18. Over the years, what about you do you think has changed the most? A lot has changed. My kids are grown, I’m morbidly overweight, the question would really have to be more specific.

19. Looking back at high school were they the best years of your life? No, I don’t think so.

20. Are there times you still feel like a kid? Sometimes I expect to see my 17 year old self looking back at me from the mirror, so yes.

21. Where was the hang out spot when you were a teenager? Main Street, PRC (Pueblo Rec Center), Lake Pueblo & many places in between.

22. Who do you think impacted your life the most? Becoming a parent & then later meeting Troy

23. Was there a teacher or authority figure that stood out for you? There were many, some for good reasons, some for bad.

24. Do you tell stories that start with “when I was your age?” Occasonally, but not often.

25. What is the scariest thing that has happened to you as an adult? My ex tried to murder me.

26. What advice would you give to someone about to get married? Think very hard about it first & make sure that you can spend your life with that person.

27. What advice would you give someone starting their first job? Work hard, be there on time & every time you’re scheduled.

28. If you could go back and change one thing you did, what would it be? I’d graduate from high school.

29. If you could go back and change one thing someone else did, what would it be? I’ve never thought about it & wouldn’t want that sort of thing on my conscious.

About a week or so ago, on Rhi’s birthday, we received a stack of letters from our health insurance company. We expected to receive one for Rhi, she had turned 19 & wouldn’t have insurance anymore. What we didn’t expect was that they took Troy & I off the policy, too, so none of us had health insurance. Troy called them, asked what was going on & of course they denied having taken us off, but agreed to send us new certificates of coverage. We got them yesterday, stating that both of us had ongoing coverage.

Troy needed to call them today to ask them about a procedure I want to have done & what we have to do to get pre-approval for it & the steps that have to be taken. He gets through the whole spiel & gets transferred to the person that he needs to talk to, and they tell him that I’m not listed as a dependent & that I have no coverage. Hmmm, I thought they claimed a week ago that they never removed us from the insurance, funny that now I have no insurance. If this happened at the doctor’s office, as a result of an office person’s incompetence, then I could at least blame them for not taking medical coding training courses, but who do you blame at the actual insurance company?

What if I had been in an accident? I’d have had no coverage at all & we’d lose everything trying to pay a hospital bill all because someone assumed the whole family turned 19 on the same day, of the same year. Morons.

Play along!

Listen:  Do you ever listen to audio books, and if so, what are advantages to listening to them over reading physical books? I have listened to them in the past, but I think only a couple. The first was Silence of the Lambs, and the advantage to that, was that Troy & I were both wanting to read it at the same time, so by listening to it together, we got to do that.The other one was one of the books from Stephen King’s Dark Tower series, and the advantage there was that I was actually able to understand it & enjoy it, when I hadn’t been able to while reading it.

Watch: Apparently many hardcore Star Trek fans are actually put off by the recent movie–because it’s so good. They feel like giving it a broad appeal is devaluing it by taking it out of their niche. Do you think that’s silly, or do you see where they’re coming from? Have you ever felt that way about something that was once in your subculture but is no longer considered a “sub” culture? I kind of felt that way with The Lord of the Rings, but then I got so excited to see the movies that I stopped worrying about it. I was a little worried that the movies wouldn’t be true to the books, but I was pleased & felt that there was as much in the movies as they could possibly get in there in 3 hour shots.

Read:  Any authors you’ve been wanting to check out, but still haven’t come around to it?  I pretty much check out every author that I’m interested in. If I like a book by them, I end up reading everything they’ve written, or everything in whatever series I was interested in to begin with. I’m obsessive like that.

I’m happy it’s Friday, even though it’s Troy’s long week & he isn’t off until Sunday. It was a long & frustrating week for me, and quite frankly, I’m happy it’s over. We did solve my touchpad problem & I can type on my laptop again without setting it off, thankfully.

Anyway, Dawn, Jason & I are driving down to Silver Reef for the evening, to enjoy the beginning of the full moon rites, since we can’t camp out with the tribe this weekend (for several reasons, like Troy’s working, we’re camping next weekend & other things), but it was important to us to still participate in some way.

Tomorrow, hopefully my dropper will here so we can bottle some oils. Other than that, I’ll probably go to my parents’ house & help them make their will while Troy is sleeping, so we can all stop worrying about it. I’m not excited to do it, of course, I’m just anxious to get it done for them.

Sunday, we’ll do what we always do, plus we need to go buy dog food & such. That’s about it, Troy starts vacation that day, so the whole week will feel like the weekend, which makes me very happy.

I tried to post a normal post after the meme yesterday, but my computer wouldn’t stay connected, so I told Troy & he spent the rest of the day trying to fix it, We think it was a Firefox issue that he fixed by installing the newest version. I haven’t had any problems staying connected tonight, so we’ll see.

I hope to be back tomorrow with the daily posts & memes, I’m just too tired right now & my seasonal allergies are kicking my butt.

Play along!

Music and Travel

What music format do you take when you roadtrip and why? (CD, mp3 etc) Usually CD or an MP3 disc, I don’t have an mp3 player anymore & won’t let Troy plug his into my car, because my car killed mine.

Do you ever make special mixes or playlists just for your trip? I have been known to, but Troy is really more likely to do that that I am.

Have you ever associated a certain album or band with a trip you made? Billy Joel will always remind me of the ride between Pueblo, Colorado & Colorado Springs, because that was what we always had in the cassette player when we first got together.

Troy & I slept in past 10 this morning & it’s been throwing me off all day. I had a pretty good week on the spiritual front, at least I feel like my needs were met, as far as they could be. I got sick towards the end of the week & couldn’t finish the Beltane rites, but what I did get to participate in was very spiritual & meaningful to me.

I’ve about given up on one member of the tribe, though. I just don’t feel like trying anymore. I have tried & tried to accept them for who & how they are & it’s just so hard for me, because they are one of those people that you never know what to say to them, and live with actual fear of making them angry every time you open your mouth. Being tolerant of other people isn’t difficult, like learning to play piano, but I swear, in the case of this person, piano would be easier for me.

It feel like everything that they say is false to me. They talk about the tribe bringing hate & drama with them when they come & most of us think that the only hatred & drama comes from them. There has been a lot of power-grubbing with this person & honestly, within our tribe, there is no power, nothing to scrabble madly on the ground for after the pinata of life has been broken open.

It may be time for them to take a walk for awhile again, like they did last fall, when we were left with no leadership & no direction & left to figure it out on our own. We figured it out & now we don’t need that person anymore, we like how we do things now. Things now aren’t better or worse than they were before, they’re just different. Things change, life isn’t lived in a vacuum & while this person stayed away almost all fall & winter, we grew & changed into the next version of the tribe.

Many of us felt lost & alone after our leadership walked away, we felt betrayed by many things that had gone on the previous summer & we had no idea which direction to take, and I really think we all did the best we could by just letting it happens as it did, on it’s own.