The forecast was updated again, now we’re back to rain & snow mixed with a high of 53. Hopefully, that high will be right around the time I’m ready to do ritual, if we can’t have it nice all day. It’s supposed to be somewhat windy, too & I’m willing to bet that stupid wind will be a cold one. The kids are going to be bored & going crazy, because I don’t have a lot of kid related things for them to do inside. I could teach them to find online life insurance, but I don’t think that would go over really well with most of them. I don’t think I have enough money to buy craft stuff for them, but I’ll check & see if we do. That would solve a lot of problems, because it would, at the very least, give them something messy to do & we all know how much kids love that.

I’m not even sure I’m looking forward to any of this anymore, between being sick & my schedule being so out of whack tomorrow. They changed the time for our pickup for our co-op & now I have to be there at 7:00 am. That’s not terrible, but Troy won’t even be home then, so mom & dad have to come & take me to get it, which is a hassle for them. I’m just not in a great place emotionally right now, I guess.

I’m just about done with the snow, I’ve had my fill & am more than ready to start complaining that its too hot. Today, we have snow on the ground & bright green grass & flower poking up through it. It’s just wrong. The forecast has been updated for the weekend, though, and it looks like we won’t be getting rain or snow on Saturday, which is fantastic! That will make my life easier, since I’ll have a bunch of people over here & the more time they can spend outside, the easier it’ll be for all of us. I have a nice, big yard & a tiny house, so I was kind of at a loss as to what we were going to do with everyone if the weather was bad. I’m just going to keep putting “warm weather” energy out there & hope it just gets more & more positive over the next day or so.

I feel a little bad for my earlier post about my brother & sister-in-law, especially about the comment about her needing eye cream for dark circles & then doubling it, but I think I’ve just reached an place of frustration with them that’s hard for me to move past. I mean my niece is 13 & doesn’t even know what it’s like to have sober parents, they’ve been drunk or hungover her whole life. They’ve risked her life countless times, by driving drunk with her in the car. They’ve ruined her whole outlook on what marriage & parenthood is all about.

My brother was doing really well before he started seeing her. He had his drinking under control. He went to work every day & on the weekends, he was ready to get out & go hiking, or whatever might seem like fun. Now he works all day, goes home, gets drunk in front of the TV, goes to bed & does it all over again the next day. On the weekends, he’s drunk for three days and their excitement is watching TV or fighting. They never know what my niece is doing or where she is half the time, nor do I really think they care anymore.

So, I have a lot of negative feelings surrounding her & what’s gone on with my brother over the past few years, and very few of those have anything to do with her looks or anything else. I’m just worried about him & worried about my niece & don’t like the position I’ve been put in.

I still haven’t spoken to my brother since his wife had him arrested back in February, and neither of them have spoken to my parents, either. My niece finally called my parents a couple of weeks ago & did go to church with them last Sunday, but it had been a really long time. She hasn’t called me or come over here yet & we live a block away. It’s sad, but I was pretty much finished with my brother & his wife anyway, I love him, but I just can’t sit around & watch him kill himself anymore over things he feels he did wrong in the past. I don’t think that’s a part of my job description. If he wanted help getting sober, I’d be right there for him, but since he doesn’t, I have to walk away.

We did notice, on our way back from our walk this morning, that she had company over at the house. We were wondering if it was her boyfriend, since we wouldn’t put that past her. I find it hard to believe she could find a man that desperate, but it’s been known to happen. She doesn’t wash her hair anymore, I doubt she bathes, at all & she looks like a raccoon. She needs to find the best eye cream for dark circles and then double the application. I’m not joking.

I do feel sorry for my niece, but she isn’t helping her own situation anymore, either. I’m sure she’ll end up just like her mother before it’s all over. She is so fixated with men (I do mean men & not boys, she’s 13 & lusting after men in jail & so on) that it’s scary. I don’t even know what to do anymore, I don’t really see that changing, at least not before it’s too late & she makes some bad choices. My parents are & were good ones, they don’t deserve all of this grief!

I went & picked up my new phone the other day, and after having it for almost a week, I’ve just about figured most of it out. I learned to add music to use as ringtones yesterday & have all of my friends with their own ringers now. I still need to make a few more, but am pleased with what I’ve done so far. I can get online & update Facebook & MySpace, but still can’t use Foursquare or Twitter, which, honestly, while Foursquare seems fun, I rarely leave the house. So, no big loss there.

I’ve been super careful with it, I’m afraid of cracking the front screen, since I seem to be really good at doing that. I bought a case for it on eBay, just waiting for it to get here, until then, I’ve been keeping it in my purse when we go anywhere & not in my pocket. I just have to be very careful as to where I put my purse, so it won’t get stepped on, or kicked. It makes me way too nervous, honestly.

At any rate, I love my phone, am pleased with everything & it was great that I had enough money to buy it myself.

Speaking of which, our refrigerator has been starting to go out for awhile & for the past couple of weeks, just hasn’t been keeping things as cold as I’d like. In the past several days the freezer started giving us fits, too. I bought meat on Friday, put it in the freezer & by Sunday, it still wasn’t frozen. I rearranged everything that morning, hoping for the best & nothing really changed, so we went to Sears & looked at their chest freezers. We found a nice, mid-size one on sale for $229 & were able to just buy it right then. It’s all paid off & sitting in the workshop, doing ehat it’s supposed to. It’s great!

The birthday party was a lot of fun, Helen got to help decorate her birthday cake & was very proud of it, then the kids all made little tiaras & crowns to wear and played outside in the warm sunshine & had a ball. The adults got to sit around & visit, then some of us ran to the store & got some hot wax, came back & eyebrows were done & hair tinsel was put in & fun was had all around. I love days like that, it makes me cherish my friends all that much more.

I came home to meet Troy & have dinner with him, then we went over to Dawn & Jason’s so he could game & I could hang out with Dawn. While we were sitting around, Vicki showed up, so we had fun with her, too. We all rarely get to be together these days, between Dawn & Vicki’s work schedules, Vicki’s school schedule & just life in general, we all rarely have time when we’re all free. She has a much more mellow summer, as far as school goes, so we should be able to see her more often.

We got home & into bed at about 12:30am, and I slept great until Tiny wanted on the bed at 4:30 (she waits for us to invite her up), because after that, the cats decided to be pests so someone would get up and feed them. Troy can sleep through anything, but I sure can’t, so I ended up with a bad headache (I was even thinking I’d need migraine headache relief) and went out to try the couch. All of the animals followed me, of course, so I eventually wen back to the bedroom, but didn’t sleep much after that. My head still hurts a little, but I’m up and awake & getting by. I’m hoping we’ll do something fun today, but I’m not holding my breath!

We’re getting ready to go to a birthday party for a friend’s daughter. I just cannot believe that she’s five already, it seems like yesterday she was just a tiny, fussy baby & now she’s on the road to kindergarten. It was enough of a shock in January when her big brother turned 8, honestly, I just don’t remember giving any of them permission to get so dang big. Sheesh. That’s how we get old, first our kids grow up, then all of our younger friends’ kids do, too & then all of a sudden, we’re old. It’s not fair, I tell ya!

Anyway, the weather looks like it’s finally warm again, after several days of cold, gloomy rain & snow mixed. Hopefully this will be the end of the snow for the year, but I’m really not holding my breath, I’ve lived here for too long to honestly believe that. I can hope, though. I’m a little disappointed that it’s supposed to be cold & rainy next Saturday, which is Beltane & I have a bunch of people coming over for ritual & to eat & such, but we’ll make do, we always do.

The weather has been absolutely gorgeous here lately. The tulips are blooming in my front yard, the grass is getting green & the trees are starting to bloom. I feel the urge to be out there, getting my garden ready to go & my yard cleaned up & beautiful. I won’t be able to do any of that until about Sunday or Monday, because we’re going out of town tomorrow, but I plan to get some of it done before Troy’s weekend is over. We plan to empty our storage unit this weekend, at some point, too, so we don’t have to pay on it anymore & that’s more important than getting yard work done, because it’ll save us money sooner than the garden will.

I haven’t heard from Erin in awhile, but I’m no terribly worried, the weather is getting warmer everywhere & I’m sure they’re traveling again. For all I know he could be looking for Philadelphia jobs or something by now. You never really know with him, he gets a wild hair & then just goes off on whatever adventure he dreams up at the time. I try not to worry much about him & trust that he knows what he’s doing, but it isn’t easy at times. I’m always going to be his mom & worrying is a part of my job description, which I think he finally understands, so he does try to keep in touch. I know he’ll call me soon.

Garrett never got his call for The Biggest Loser, which makes me sad, because he’d have been great on it & done really well. I know he was disappointed, too, because he hasn’t been online much lately & that’s a pretty good sign.

Rhi has been doing okay, she’s going through a rough patch, but I think she’ll come back out on top of it soon.

Everything is finally starting to look up for us & it’s about time. It’s been a long, rough time, between the medical bills in 2008, the garnishment in 2009 & the scamming we fell victim to it just felt like we were drowning a little more every day. Today, it feels like we can breathe again, like we can finally, after months, take a big, deep breath, let it out, relax & take some more, you know?

I wasn’t going to get a new phone right away, not for a few months, really, but today, while we were at our meeting of the creditors for our bankruptcy, I dropped my phone in the bathroom & broke it. I know a lot of people that can go without a cell phone, but we don’t have a landline & haven’t for years, and when you have a husband who works all night long & grown children who may or may not be there at any given time, you need a way to call 911 if needed, you know? That’s not even mentioning it’s how my kids keep in touch with me, and I’d really miss not having one.

We stopped by our provider’s office on our way home & I ordered a nice, new LG Rumor, in metallic lime green & black. I cannot wait for it to get here, so I can play with the features on it I’ve never been able to before (we upgraded our plan, too). I should have it by Wednesday, at the latest.

I had hoped to buy some nice stuff for our yard this past week, like some nice furniture with outdoor cushions, but that didn’t work out, so hopefully next payday Troy will feel more comfortable with spending money, especially since our bankruptcy is all done now (thankfully!) I’m really ready to get started on a bunch of stuff for faire, but I need a few answers first, so that I’m not wasting my time with all of it, so I’m going to wait a bit on it all.

I’ll be needing a new cell phone soon, the one I have right now (the Kyocera Lingo) has been a good phone for me & I love the QWERTY keyboard, because I do a lot of texting in a day, but it has seen better days, for sure. It’s at the point where half the time I can’t shut it off unless I take the battery out & reset it, which can be very frustrating. There are times when it needs to be restarted because I suddenly have no sound, or I just need to turn it off because I’m at a movie, or leaving it with my keys at the gym & I have to struggle with the battery panel to get it done. The camera sucks, which I was never happy with and become less so as time goes by.

I’d love another phone with a QWERTY keyboard, I also wish I could have something with WiFi access, since I can’t afford a data package right now (and won’t, I pay for internet already after all). The Google Nexus One is very nice, but I doubt my provider will offer it & without really knowing what they do currently have, I can’t really make a decision, so I’m just browsing.

What phone do you have? What are it’s features? What do you love & hate about it? Do you have any recommendations for me? I want something nice, but I don’t want to pay $500+ to get it, you know? It’s just a phone, after all. I really want to just be able to get a new phone when I sign a new contract, which is why I’ve been waiting for so long, that way I don’t have to pay anything. So, give me your ideas & suggestions, I really can use them!